Collected, Uh, Wisdom
Great minds think alike. And, curiously, so do our cover subjects, Paris Hilton and George Bush. Here’s the proof.
At first blush, the similarities appear coincidental. Eldest siblings, families with money and famous names, the middle initial 'W'. But the list keeps going. Both were indifferent students and childhood hellions, closest to their mothers, for whom an early predilection towards carousing set the bar of public expectation quite low. And while one found God and the other a camcorder, their resultant public demeanor is astonishingly alike: they're shallow, petulant and not all that bright, and seem pretty damn proud of it.
For further consideration, here's what this Teflon twosome has had to say about the following subjects:
Bush: In Iraq, no doubt about it, it’s tough. It’s hard work.
It’s incredibly hard.... It’s hard work. I understand how hard it
is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it
is. But it’s necessary work.—Presidential debate, 9/30/04.
Hilton: Believe me, it’s not easy to arrange a girls’ night out
for a whole bunch of girly girls. Oh, the burdens of being an heiress! Just
making sure they’re all dressed and ready at the same time is a nightmare.
—Confessions of an Heiress, 9/04
Bush: This is an impressive crowd — the haves and the have-mores. Some
people call you the elite; I call you my base.—Campaign dinner in New York, 9/00
Hilton: I cannot stress enough the importance of billionaire friends. Even
for someone like me, they can be real assets. They raise your social net worth.
—Confessions
Bush: There’s Adam Clymer — major league asshole from the New
York Times.—Campaign stop, 9/4/00
Hilton: You’re the fucking ugliest bitch ever!
—To a rival patron
at Marquee, NYC, 11/04
Bush: He’s a good man.
—To Barbara Walters on 20/20, 12/5/01
Hilton: Tink thinks a lot like me.
—Confessions
Bush: Probably [that] I’m running on my daddy’s name; that, you
know, if my name were George Jones, I’d be a country and western singer.—On Oprah, 9/19/00
Hilton: That I’m this spoiled brat. But I’m not. I’m, like,
the total opposite.
—Maxim, 8/03
Bush: I want to be known as the peace president.—Campaign stop, 7/20/04
Hilton: What I’d really like people to know is that I’m working
on fundraising for breast cancer.
—Vanity Fair, 9/00
Bush: I think anybody who doesn’t think I’m smart enough to
handle the job is underestimating.—Cox News Service, 3/18/00
Hilton: I’m so smart now. Everyone is always like, “Take your top
off.” Sorry, no! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not
stupid.
—USA Today, 12/1/03
Bush: I was very conscious of my dad’s reputation, and obviously when
he was vice president...I didn’t go out marketing his name.—Los Angeles Times, 3/2/00
Hilton: I make my own money. Since I’ve been 18 I haven’t taken
any money from my parents. And I made it all on my own. So I feel really good
about that.
—To Barbara Walters on Ten Most Fascinating People of
2004, 12/8/04
Bush: As you know, we don’t have relationships with Iran. I mean,
that’s — ever since the late ’70s we have no contacts with
them, and we’ve totally sanctioned them.—Campaign stop, 8/9/04
Hilton: I made a pact with myself that I wasn’t going to hook up with
anyone.... I’m not going to date anyone. I’m not going to kiss
anyone. Nothing.
—Jane, 2/05
Bush: I’ve told the people of this country that, over two decades ago,
I made some mistakes when I was younger. I’ve learned from those mistakes.—Campaign stop, 8/19/99
Hilton: Everyone does crazy stuff when they’re young, but if
you’re an heiress you have even more opportunities to mess up. And
everything tends to get written about, so people don’t forget as easily.
—Confessions
Bush: As I understand it, the current [FBI] form asks the question,
“Did somebody use drugs within the last seven years?” and I will be
glad to answer that question, and the answer is “No.”—Dallas Morning News, 8/19/99
Hilton: I don’t do drugs.... I see young girls out now who have been
doing it for so long they look haggard and old. I like my young face. I
don’t want to look old.
—British Glamour, 2/05
Bush: There’s a sense that people in America aren’t getting the
truth. I’m mindful of the filter through which some news travels, and
sometimes you just have to go over the heads of the filter and speak directly to
the people.—TV interview, 10/13/03
Hilton: No one writes about my charity work. They’d rather write about
me dancing on a table, which I’ve never done in my life. I don’t
know how you could dance on tables. The table would, like, fall.
—Jane, 2/05
Bush: Listen, I’m just as shocked as you are that I’m sitting
here talking about the presidency. It’s never been a part of my... My
life’s ambition hasn’t always been to be the president.—On the Newshour with Jim Lehrer, 4/27/00
Hilton: It’s not about fame, really. Years from now I would just want
people to say, “She was young. She was a crazy girl for a while or
whatever, but then she married and had a great big family. She was good to
people and did a lot for the world.”
—Movieline’s
Hollywood Life, 6/04
Photos: NYDN
and PMC
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