CHUCKED UP Gibson

>> Holy Cow! Slayer's latest album, Christ Illusion, has been pulled from stores in India due to complaints of offensive artwork. Could this be Divine Intervention?

>> Red Book: An anti-Hillary Clinton e-book, written by the Conservative Party of New York, will be hitting computer screens in the coming weeks. Watch for it to head off the massive amount of attention given to the new edition of It Takes a Village, coming out just in time for Christmas.

>> Charity Drive: While filming the adaptation of reporter Daniel Pearl's tragic story, Brad and Angelina pledge a $100K donation to the Daniel Pearl Foundation. Or so they say.

>> Newspaper Guild Swilled: The Toledo Blade's employees have to "pay another $39.30 per week into the health and welfare fund."

TUNED TO E Buffett

>> Celebrity shuffle: Joe Simpson is the new Rob Shuter, and Luke Wilson is the new John Mayer. It makes sense if you think about it, though we don't particularly advise that waste of brain usage.

>> Ho? No: Apropos of nothing, Scarlett Johansson tells anyone who will listen that she's not a slut, thank you very much.

>> Ho? Yup. Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is well past the point of repairing her reputation via vague proclamations (3rd item).

SEEING DOUBLE Jolie & Pearl

>> My god, it's full of ... ads: Is space the place for advertising? It is according to a paper presented at the International Astronautical Conference entitled In Defense of Advertising in Space in Valencia, Spain. How about billboards that say, "If you lived here, you'd be deprived of oxygen by now"?

>> Now it can be told: New York reveals the secret origins of "truthiness," Stephen Colbert's first major contribution to the national conversation. Apparently (SPOILER ALERT) it was meant as a joke!

>> The YouTube Generation: Forget the business wheeling and dealing: What about the people? The New Yorker looks at the little people who make YouTube so darn special.

>> Overheard at the office: Page Six has an amazing scoop today in their "WE HEAR" section: "Candace Bushnell's new Sirius Satellite radio show launches today at 5 p.m. and will feature Cynthia Rowley and Page Six's Paula Froelich."

RICH, DUDE Hurley

So, how does a newly-minted billionaire talk? Like a character out of Office Space, apparently, if YouTube founder Chad Hurley's interview with The Hollywood Reporter is any indication: "Over the coming weeks and months, integration teams will sort out the exact details of how it's going to work.... We're committed to building a new market for content owners, with Sony BMG and Universal Music leveraging the same technologies as Warner Music Group. There are new ways to leverage user-generated content that never existed before." Sexy.

FOLEY TRUMPED The Donald on King

>> N. Korean nuclear fallout : Chinese say: "Taking military action against North Korea would be unimaginable."

>> Meanwhile, on the Hill: Democrats led by Sen. John Kerry called Bush's foreign policy a "shocking failure."

>> Aim low: The Army hits its recruiting goals a year after it missed them by the widest margin in 20 years—in part by paying more bonuses and requiring less brains.

>> More military than Marilyn Manson: The 13-year-old boy who fired a Mac-90 into his Joplin, Missouri, school Monday wore a trench coat and had detailed school maps, military manuals, explosives instructions, and a fascination with Columbine.

SO LATE Condi

>>BREAKING: Tower Records will be liquidated, starting tomorrow. A consortium has bought out the store for $134.3 million, Billboard reports. So find somewhere else to camp out for Madonna tickets, why don'tcha.

>> She don't feel tardy: En route to London, Condoleezza Rice tells reporters that talks with Iran have failed to halt the country's nuclear program and that it is "getting pretty close" to the time for other (read: military) options. Then she shows up late to a meeting of world leaders, leaving almost no time to reach consensus on the issue.

>> Amish martyr: 13-year-old Marian Fisher reportedly appealed to alleged Amish school shooter Charles Carl Roberts to shoot her first in an effort to save younger girls being held captive.

>> See this coming? Gitmo guards bragged about beating detainees. A 19-year-old sailor identified in a report only as "Bo" said it was commonplace. "One such story Bo told involved him taking a detainee by the head and hitting the detainee's head into the cell door," the statement says, according to AP.

>> Problem solved!! While apparently sitting around with their thumbs up their asses, a U.S.-Israeli team of scientists discovers the cure for hiccups—a finger in the rectum—and win an IgNobel Prize in the process.

>> Another blow to Rove: Karl Rove's aide Susan Ralston has resigned after admitting to handing off gifts—as many as nine tickets to entertainment events—to corrupt, influence-peddling lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

FAR FROM DUNST the Antoinette blitz

>> Unlikely story: Not even a super supermodel can tell Jane Shepherdson what to do. Brand director of the cult British High Street retailer Topshop quit yesterday following the announcement that Kate Moss is signing on to design for the brand. Sir Phillip Green, the owner of the chain, who once paid £60,000 to charity for a kiss from Kate Moss, says Shepherdson's resignation has nothing to do with Ms. Moss.

>> Chummy: Keep your glasses on, wear neutrals, and remember to keep your knees together. Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham try to pass for high-fashion hoity-toities at Paris shows.

>> Yum! All-you-can-eat Kirstin Dunst is now available for free in the online edition of Nylon magazine. Download and enjoy.

CRIER Redstone

>>Shown: The freshly roasted William Shatner is being tapped to host a game show called Show Me the Money for ABC.

>> Sharing: Google and YouTube play footsy.

VOTE FOLEY Why not?

>> Up in Smoke: Representative Jack Kingston, a Georgia Republican, is aggressively courting publicity as the vice chairman of the House GOP Conference, a middling rung on the leadership ladder. His blog is a regular source of embarrassment—for him. On it, he's currently hyping the letter he sent to the Democratic leader demanding that the Mark Foley issue not be a partisan one. Now if someone could only share that letter with Republicans.

>> Joshgate: Did President Bush sabotage deceased Minnesota Senator Paul Wellstone's plane in an attempt to win the longtime incumbent's seat in Congress back in 2002? So hypothesizes Josh Hartnett.

REFRESHING Madge, Kabbalah

>> Life imitates tart: Jessica Simpson doesn't play a whore in her latest movie, but that doesn't stop her from acting like one in real life.

>> Planted item of the day: It's been a while since Russell Crowe threw a telephone at some poor hotel employee's face, and Page Six has the inside scoop on what he's been up to in the interim: keeping a "low profile" by living "quietly" in upstate New York with his family. Oh, also, he's working on a really cool movie now, and you should also know when his latest venture comes out.

>> Shit sandwich: In the latest issue of Rolling Stone, Sienna Miller calls Pittsburgh, her hometown, "Shittsburgh." Lest you think she's clever, remember, it's her children who caught Duddy diddling the nanny.

>> Unsportsmanlike conduct: Basketballer Stephen Jackson "fired his 9mm pistol five times after he was hit in the mouth and was tossed on the hood of the car" outside a strip club.

THE KOS EFFECT Moulitsas

• He's paranoid of his media coverage having been mocked for his new plasma TV, for wanting to buy a new piano, for his bug eyes.

• He's recently felt like he is under attack from "them" but is not whining about it like Ross Perot.

• He gets 3.5 million unique visitors a week.

• He raised $1 million for Democratic candidates in 2004.

• His plans involve starting a network of sports blogs then founding his version of megachurches for lefties, complete with cafés and daycare centers.

• Advertisers pay up to $14,000 a month for ads.

• Moulitsas is on track to make $600,000 this year.

>> Lamest Swipe of the Day: Again with Page Six, who, in an effort to either bolster their boldface name count or dig into a billionaire philanthropist who goes against everything it stands for, links Warren Buffett to Jimmy Buffett (a "distant cousin," says the Page) in a story headlined "Buffett Caught With Club Drug." Wonder what's going to come up in Google when you type Warren Buffett after this?

BOOKED Couric

Klein on Couric should make for a fun read—at least for the army of lawyers and fact-checkers it will require before publication. Klein is definitely no fan of the plucky new CBS anchor, as the answer to this February 2006 question posed in Parade (to his open-secret pen name "Walter Scott") attests:

Q. I heard that CBS offered Katie Couric $17 million to $20 million to anchor the CBS Evening News. What's wrong with the guy they've got: Bob Schieffer?

—Lester Hoover, Los Angeles, Calif.

A. Nothing. In fact, Schieffer, 68—the most experienced Washington reporter in broadcasting—exudes an air of authority, credibility, and likability unmatched since Walter Cronkite. Ratings are up 2% since CBS made him interim anchor after Dan Rather's "retirement" last year. We think Bob is the best news anchor on the air today.

FREE MAN Karr

>> Is that a metaphor? Eva Longoria of Desperate Housewives, has been hospitalized after a fall on the set. According to her flak, "Eva slipped on one of the stairs coming out of her trailer.... Nothing is broken, but her ribs are very bruised."

>> More coffee now!: Starbucks is tripling the number of stores it has in the U.S.. Someone's life quest just got a little harder.

WARNER Sizing you up

>> Also breaking: Is TomKat moving to a $22 million farm in Upperville, Virginia? Is there room there a mother-in-law quarters for Xenu? These vital questions are being pondered right now by D.C. celebrity gossip bloggers. Even more breaking: D.C. has celebrity gossip bloggers!

>> Good cop, bad cop: Why wouldn't Rep. Dennis Hastert now take blame for incorrectly handling the Mark Foley boy-loves-boy-funtime-party scandal now that his party has masterminded a plan to out gay congressional aides and blame them for the foul up simultaneously? But what would Lawrence "Larry" King do?