Thanks for reporting on one of the single most irresponsibly written articles I've ever read. One might wonder what's the hidden agenda?

Or is it obvious?

Tom Cruise Brand ManiacalMedicalMaryJane:

Yesssss! Yesssssss!!!!! Yessssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um....shouldn't this be directed to Georgie W.?

Stop hatin, yo! In BedStuy your fur-cover is not fly if it don't show the battle-holes.

Two deal breakers:

"want me to sing something else?"

"i haven't had any vocal training at all"

Bonus:

"i can sing"

Go on Gurl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, let's just see if the first party joint was a fluke..............

I'll have to take back some of my comments about Mary Kate. Heath did not die in her apartment apparently.

But I'd still like to see her tortured.

For her fashion sense.

usually, I find depressing things to be fun, but not today, though. and btw, all angles of Heath's death will and should be reported.

truly inspired casting!

let's hope that Heath was sound asleep and dreaming when he passed away...............

let the fuckwaddery begin.

No, make that Mary Kate!

Now I want a hardball, take no prisoners grilling, by a snarling 5-0 in a small, dank room complete with a small metal chair, and a lone, dangling light bulb. And don't forget the masking tape and rubber hose.

First off, R.I.P., my former Brooklyn Brother.

Second: Ashley Olsen?!!!! I want an in depth report from 20/20 post-haste!

excellent breakdown!

omg. what if most of these things apply to me? omg.

on the other other hand, i can point out at least 20 things that apply to Britney Spears.

That was fun!