• ScarJo sex tape? Scarlett Johanssen is the latest subject of the old standby movie set rumor wherein a celebrity leaves on his or her microphone then slips off for a quickie, much to the delight of lowly soundmen.
• Rock files: Chris Rock files for divorce from his wife of 10 years, Malaak Compton-Rock. Radar wishes to express its deepest hopes Ms. Compton-Rock gets to keep that rad last name.
• Election Day Special: Lindsay Lohan wants to go to Iraq (does she know it's not a nightclub?). With any luck, the paparazzi will follow her and either die or annoy Iraqis into submission.
• How you doin'? Paris Hilton greets friends with tongue.
• T-Hag's greatest hits: Tiptoe through disgraced megachurch pastor Ted Haggard's condemnation of gays.
• Sean Bond Double-O-Diddy: Diddy wants desperately to be paid attention to to be the first black 007.
• Also, "nice": Borat's cousin spotted!
• Enough for Duff: Hillary Duff's 18-year-old alleged stalker is arrested and booked on charges of stalking and threatening the actress in conversation with a P.I. she hired.