• Her liver's a Wonderland: Not so anonymous alcoholic Lindsay Lohan checked herself into rehab yesterday, soon to be scrawling epithets in the bathroom stalls of the luxurious Wonderland Center.
• See? Global cooling!: Watch as ignorant, Al Gore-hating Hummer jockeys try and use snow in http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070118/ap_on_re_us/winter_blast " target="_blank">Malibu and Texas to refute global warming when it actually proves our planetary bipolar disorder.
• D.C. contamination: The Potomac is full of sex-altering chemicals. That explains the recent http://www.nypost.com/seven/01122007/photos/news008a.jpg " target="_blank">tears of a certain chief clown.
• Ain't he funky now?: Dead for over three weeks, James Brown refuses to be buried. Well, it's actually his family that refuses to bury him as they resolve will conflicts and build a sequined mausoleum.