Radar tracks the boldface names dominating the daily dirt ...
Anna Nicole: Five mentions. Anna's DNA will be excavated from her cold, dead corpse in order to finally figure out the paternity of wee Dannielynn.
Phil Spector: Three mentions. A close second to Anna Nicole in the batshit-insane celebrity justice files is Phil Spector. Prospective jurors for his upcoming murder trial must fill out an 18-page questionnaire to make sure they're not biased against celebs. That's not the only thing the Spector trial has in common with the ANS fiasco: Lana Clarkson, the woman Spector is accused of killing, drank with her mom as a youngster ... just like Anna Nicole!
American Idols: Four mentions. Remember last week when Simon Cowell implied that Ryan Seacrest was gay? Well, maybe this "reality" spat was (gasp!) scripted! Also, Paula Abdul told David Letterman that Cowell has a tiny, tiny penis, so maybe all this gay talk is just overcompensation.
Paris Hilton: Four mentions. Hilton rumormongers are taking it to the streets, posting some unfortunate, fellatio-implying graffiti near Melrose in L.A. Paris BJ fables are not only scrawled on buildings, they're also Photoshopped onto the Internet: According to Miss Hilton's tireless flack Elliot Mintz, those alleged pics of her with Cee-Lo appearing on mediatakeout.com were faux. Duh, she's a racist!