• Fab floor: It was only a matter of time until Heather Mills tasted the pain (carnage at :33).
• Orphan mafia: Madonna gets herself a new security detail to fight off the photogs—rock-wielding Malawian orphans.
• Son of a mill worker?: Dreamy Dem John Edwards drops $400 a haircut and $250 per facial treatment.
• Primate primacy: A new study shows that chimp DNA is more evolved than human's. That would explain this.
• Rich people get richer: The number of American households worth $5 million-plus reaches one million.