• Bruce drops F-nuke: Third wheel Bruce Willis made an ass of himself during an interview at a Nets game, giving the FCC something to think about.
• In with the old: The early favorite to replace Rubenesque loudmouth View host Rosie O'Donnell is Rubenesque loudmouth Rosanne Barr.
• Kate's other line: Fans line the streets to be the first to get their grubby little hands on model-cum-designer Kate Moss's new line of clothes for Top Shop.
• Real Estate section: The New York Times building sells for $525 million. Times Select service not included.
• Dance, dance recuperation: An injured back can't keep Ellen off the air, but it can temporarily halt those embarrassing dance moves—news which, ironically, makes us want to do the "cabbage patch."