• Xenuphobia: In case you missed it, here's BBC reporter John Sweeney flipping out on a Scientology official while researching a documentary. Thank Scientology's own videographers, who were taping the documentarians taping them and not only posted this on the Net but sent copies to all of Sweeney's superiors.
• White idiot box: Comedian Paul Rodriguez, errr ... George Lopez, is not happy that his show got canceled. Not so much because he'll no longer get a check (it's in syndication), but because TV is now "really, really white again."
• MySpace meltdown: British bad girl Lily Allen ponders liposuction and gastric bypass.
• Battered testis: All-you-can-eat deep-fried animal nuggets go for $5 at the ninth annual Testicle Festival in Wisconsin.
• Not so sly: Aging beef slab Sylvester Stallone pleads guilty to possessing illegal performance enhancing drugs in Australia and faces a $22,000 fine. He allegedly asks to pay in "protein pudding."
• Imus-ed: CBS fired the hosts of sophomoric radio show "The Dog House with JV and Elvis," who had been suspended for calling a Chinese restaurant and asking for "slimp flied lice." GQ readers, apparently.