• Aw, Dad! Come on!: As if reinvigorated paparazzi stalking and re-rehab weren't enough to bear, Lindsay Lohan's God-fearing pops Michael gives E! Online the lowdown on what he says are his daughter's favorite poisons.
• Nerds to the rescue: From deep inside their mother's basements, Sigma, a group of sci-fi writers, will advise the Department of Homeland Security on combating terrorism.
• He-man woman haters: A 20-year-old woman is filing a human rights complaint against Le Stud, a Montreal gay bar that bills itself as a "truly manly meat market," for kicking her out because she didn't possess the proper equipment.
• Pick of the litter: The powers that be at the clink where Paris Hilton will soon have an extended stay help the soul-searching heiress out by hand-picking her cell mate.
• Perverted journo: A CNN Africa correspondent is given his walking papers after a Kenyan blog identified him as the "date rape journalist."
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