• House of wax: Madame Tussaud's wax museum in New York makes a Paris Hilton statue look like an old-school convict. Not getting the joke, Kitson immediately stocks black and white pantsuits.
• Water guns: Suspecting scuba jihadists, the U.S. military develops a new slew of lethal super-soakers.
• Unlikely buds: At a Tom Delay book signing, Ben Affleck discovers the crooked "Hammer" is a fan of Mallrats—and suddenly Delay's hypocrisy's a little cute.
• Ouch!: An actor sues Jimmy Kimmel and Johnny Knoxville over a violent stunt, seeking $10 million for having his junk caught in a mousetrap.
• Adequate: India's richest man's in the process of building 60-story mansion. It's not as excessive as it sounds—he needs space for his 600 servants.
• Feeling heat: Rep. William Jefferson (D-LA), who was busted with $90,000 in ill-gotten cash in his freezer, gets smacked with a 16-count grand jury indictment.
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