• Listen to Mommy, Baby: With her child watching from the backseat, Britney Spears rolls down her window and lets slip an inspired string of vulgarities at an offending photographer.
• Dick exposed: In 1969, Dick Cheney nearly became Ted Kennedy's press secretary—this, and other fun revelations, in a new biography.
• Un-free trade coffee: Starbucks ups the cost of your daily fix; an intrepid Radar reporter is let off relatively easy.
• Making friends: The German Protestant Church compares Tom Cruise to Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels.
• Riding dirty: Ja Rule and Lil' Wayne get arrested for illegally carrying .40 caliber guns, and in doing so, likely saved themselves the humiliation of shooting their bodyguards in the back when some real shit went down.