• 'Bama vs. 'Sama: Barack Obama vows to go into Pakistan to root out terrorists if voted president.
• Grieving gazette: Wall Street Journal employees gather around a stack of pre-Murdoch issues and fall into a whiskey stupor.
• Rummy testifies: Former defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld dismisses allegations of a White House cover-up regarding the "friendly fire" death of Pat Tillman, in time to make the early bird special at Quincy's.
• Moss pissed: Crack rocker Pete Doherty calls ex-girlfriend Kate Moss, one of the world's highest-paid supermodels, a "nasty old rag." Like the one currently cinching off his perforated forearm.