• Bent it like himself: David Beckham took the first step toward earning some of that $250 million by scoring his first goal and collecting his first yellow card in last night's L.A. Galaxy game.
• The kid is not her son: A deranged Brit who claims to have written more than 3,000 of Michael Jackson's songs has her bid for custody of Jackson' son Prince Michael and daughter Paris dismissed by a judge.
• Sellout suit: Violent Femmes bassist Brian Richie tells frontman Gordon Gano to kiss off with a lawsuit claiming Gano stole song credits and totally sold the band out by letting their biggest hit be in a Wendy's commercial.
• Model behavior: Tom Cruise's rep denies reports that his spawn Suri will begin her modeling career for Baby Gap.
• Janjaweed socialites: Regular girls Tinsley Mortimer and Olivia Palermo allow their personal issues to cause even more suffering to the people of Darfur.