• Li'l yuck mouths: Britney Spears is investigated for "child abuse" as it pertains to the dental hygiene of her kids and their sleeping arrangements. Rumors swirl that babiesdaddy Kevin Federline lodged the complaints.
• "Tater" tale: How the hell does a sitting U.S. Senator get arrested, then plead guilty to lewd conduct and manage to keep it quiet for three months? Ask Larry Craig (R-Idaho). [via Talking Points Memo]
• Long distance plan: Competitors in the annual mobile phone throwing contest fail to crack the 95-meter record. Clearly, Naomi Campbell did not compete.
• Freeing Spector: Lawyer Bruce Cutler fires his client, Wall of Soundsmith Phil Spector, over a difference in strategy. Cutler was more a "not guilty" kind of guy, while Spector was more inclined to go with a "batshit crazy" approach.