• One down, one to go: An animal protection group drops its investigation into Britney's alleged mistreatment of her dog. Now, how about those kids?
• Stay silent: With half the country laughing at her stupidity, Miss South Carolina Teen USA attempts to explain away her incoherent rambling.
• Unconcerned: The campaign by one concerned citizen to remove Hilton loving L.A. sheriff Lee Baca from office has garnered the support of only 39 other concerned citizens, 399,960 fewer than needed to get a recall measure on the ballot.
• Nanny diaries: Since their move to L.A., Posh and Becks have already had two nannies resign, partly for being overworked and partly because they needed more free time to write a book about it.
• Out before he was in: Mayor Mike makes the strongest statement yet denying that he's planning to run for president, answering Dan Rather's question about the matter "No."