Looks like the glossies gave their employees Columbus Day off on Monday. And the celebs took a holiday, too. About the only thing that actually happened this week was that coke-y pants Lindsay Lohan left rehab—and gave "first" post-rehab interviews to both In Touch and OK!—and Jennifer Lopez continued to romp about town in tent dresses and not announce that she's pregnant (who knows, maybe the girl just likes her some cupcakes). For the most part, this week's covers are a collection of evergreens designed to make you, the reader, feel better/worse/smug about your body/face/life choices.
Star takes the fun-filled route of pointing out celebrity flaws: Who's really bald? Who goes wild with wax? Who wears a girdle? Who's just plain gross? Now, don't you feel better about your cottage-cheese thighs knowing Courtney Cox has cellulite, too? Go on, you can totally eat that cupcake.