• Blonde Ambition 2: Warrants have been issued in the investigation into Anna Nicole Smith's death. Expect an addendum to Rita Cosby's book.
• Pen pal: Federal prison inmate Jonathan Lee Riches accuses Britney Spears, in a handwritten lawsuit, of holding him at gunpoint and forcing him to commit fraud and buy her drugs, alcohol, and breast implants. The handwriting gives it that personal, extra psychotic touch.
• Flop house: Barack Obama accuses Hillary Clinton of flip-flopping on meeting with Iran and its president, forgetting that Bill does have a right to change her mind if he wants.
• Not Britney: A really bad mother is charged with purchasing firearms and ammunition for her social outcast 14-year-old son, who was discovered to be planning a Columbine-like shooting at his own school.