• Uniball and the Elf: Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong are spotted canoodling at Rose Bar in NYC. The champion cyclist (36) has evidently decided to live strong with blonde waifs (Ash, 21) who don't meet the half-your- age-plus-seven-years standard.
• Prime-time ménage à trois: Barack Obama and John Edwards double-team Hillary "Doubletalk" Clinton in Tuesday night's debate. Though they effectively blast her with rhetoric, the podiums are too far apart for them to high-five one another over her head.
• Run for the border: Pierce Brosnan is being investigated for allegedly socking a photog outside a Mexican restaurant in Malibu.
• Diagramming sentences: Marginally significant Joe Biden gets big laughs in the debate for his dig at Rudy Giuliani: "There's only three things he mentions in a sentence—a noun, a verb, and 9/11."
• Online cul-de-sac: Real estate site network curbed.com banks a $1.5 million investment from the dark knight of blogs, Nick Denton, and others.