• Tale of the tape: A group of striking writers assemble a montage of their sworn enemies swearing to pillage every last dollar from the digital battleground on which the picket war is now being waged.
• Butt out: Angelina Jolie's Versace leather pants may have split at the Beowulf premiere, but what girl wouldn't endure some lame wardrobe malfunction if it meant Brad cupping her buns for the rest of the evening?
• Warning signs: Dr. Jan Adams, who operated on Donda West shortly before her death, was embroiled in two malpractice suits and faced two DUI charges before this recent tragedy. California's Medical Board now considering revoking Adams's license.
• Reno 311: Reno residents sign a petition to remove a Beyoncé billboard, saying they find her flesh-toned bra and in-your-face armpits offensive. We've been to Reno and find it weird that this is what they find offensive.
• Jungle Juice: Paris Hilton spoke out on the problem of binge-drinking elephants in India, after learning that six pachyderms broke into a farmer's rice-beer supply and went on a rampage. After-party sponsored by Alizé. UPDATE: AP has retracted this story. Please forward any unused cases of Alizé to Radar HQ.