• Wrath of God: Mitt Romney insists that attacks on his Mormon faith are un-American, and he's looking at you, McCain! Actually, maybe it's his mamma, but attacking girls is un-American too.
• Baby you can't drive my car: During a custody hearing today, Britney Spears was informed that she is no longer able to drive with her kids. This is surely an attempt to prevent them from becoming accessories to attempted murder the next time Britney goes after a paparazzo.
• No, arigato: Hayden Panettiere has been slapped with an arrest warrant over her attempt to liberate dolphins in Japan last month. Panettiere called the arrest warrant "offensive."
• Can I get a whiff?: Excellent NSFW lessons to be learned from hip-hop's raunchiest new hoochie, Riskay.
• On the Doc-ket: A warrant issued for Dr. Jan Adams, the plastic surgeon who operated on Kanye West's mother last week before her death, was thrown out when the doctor pulled a Britney and finally showed up in court.