LOVE CONNECTION Anna in 2004, Larry, Britney
It was reported yesterday that lonely single dad Larry Birkhead, of Anna Nicole Smith, Danniellyn, and possible gay-sex-with-rival Howard K. Stern fame, announced to In Touch his burgeoning crush on auntie-to-be Britney Spears. Having promptly vomited up what was left of the weekend's Riesling and devils-on-horseback, and sadly having no back-up for either, Radar settled the delirium tremens for a quick moment to dig in and see if Brit might meet that fabled Birkhead criteria. For this tale of the tape, we traveled back in time and used the Anna of 2004, that magical year she first caught Birkhead's sketchy eye.
Let's help you find that lost spotlight, Larry!
Age
Vickie Lynn Hogan, aka Anna Nicole Smith: 37
Britney Jean Spears: 26
Hair
ANS: Platinum, epic
BS: Grownout-buzz beneath fields of weave
Profession
ANS: Stripper, model, actress, geriatric joy giver, clown
BS: Mouseketeer, singer, glossy fodder, aunt-in-waiting
Baby count
ANS: 1 (a second, Danniellynne, currently learning to sign her signature in order to hand inheritance over to her father, Larry Birkhead)
BS: 2 (at time of post)