HAPPILY TO HAMPSHIRE Barack, Mike (Photos: Getty Images)
• Hawkeye State champs: Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee win the Iowa caucuses. "They said this day would never come," Obama told his supporters. "But on this January night, at this defining moment in history, you have done what cynics said we couldn't do." Hillary Clinton places third, behind John Edwards. For his part, Huckabee pulled out a projected victory less than an hour after reported vote tallies.
• Gravel ain't takin' guff: Ater MSNBC's Keith Olberman incorrectly says Senator Mike Gravel's dropped out of the presidential race, the comic-relief candidate gets pissed, demands a retraction and apology for Keith "promoting blatantly false misinformation."
• Nuclear naughtiness: After missing a year-end deadline to report on its nuclear disarmament, petulant child North Korea makes threats and slows disabling its nuclear facilities, saying it feels gypped by American Santa's failed promises. "[We] will further strengthen our war deterrent capabilities in response to U.S. attempts to initiate nuclear war," reads the state's communist party newspaper, Rodong Sinmun.
• No finger needed: A winter vomiting bug sweeps the UK. Posh Spice considers returning to her homeland.
• Heady rumors: Actress Vivica A. Fox brushes off Internet rumors of her taking a starring turn in a sex tape with an untrustworthy, orally pleasured boyfriend.
• So hot: Kelly Osbourne tells Paris Hilton that she helped the Ozzy spawn score her first case of alcohol poisoning. The whore-ress responds with a giggle and variation on her trademark line: "I did?! That's hot."