Remember last month when the National Intelligence Estimate said maybe we shouldn't bomb Iran after all, and everybody was like, "How the hell did that happen?" A Swiss magazine has some theories. According to translations, the mag reports that the release of the surprising intelligence estimate was precipitated by a secret meeting between Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Iranian little person Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in Qatar. There, "the Iranian Revolutionary Guards and U.S. military signed a secret non aggression pact.... A few hours after the signing of the secret deal, the Pentagon and the CIA had published the hitherto top secret National Intelligence Estimate report on Iran's nuclear program through the media." A triumphant Ahmadinejad then reportedly celebrated at the conference by doing a cannonball in the golden chalice of plus-sized Qatari Emir Sheikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Al-Thani.