•Crimson snide: Before a 100-virgin crowd at Harvard today, Paris Hilton appeared to accept Harvard Lampoon's award for "Woman of the Year."
• Not heading back to school: Ted Haggard, the former minister dismissed after being exposed for his meth and gay-sex appetites, is cutting his de-gayification lessons short.
• The low 12-figures: U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates estimates that the cost of operations in Iraq and Afghanistan in 2009 could total as much as $170 billion—but then imagines that the figure is likely wrong and that he has no confidence in it. Thanks!
• Chipmunk: Actress Delta Burke checks into the psychiatric ward for ailments including "hoarding", a condition in which one never throws anything (SnackWells?) out.
• New Mexico is the New Florida: Doing their best to impersonate Florida circa 2000, Democratic Party officials in New Mexico are still counting votes cast for the party on Super Tuesday.
• Stop! Or Stallone will shoot: As further proof of the moodiness that stems from HGH, Sylvester Stallone reportedly had lippy or otherwise annoying extras killed off in his latest Rambo film. Admittedly, Sly's growing on us.