• Mission impossible: Amy Winehouse has a deal to sing and perform the theme song in the new Bond film Quantum of Solace (also the name of our favorite '80s Rush side project)—but only if she can stay clean. Never mind.
• Pantsuit pockets: Hillary Clinton admits to loaning her cash-strapped campaign a cool $5 million last month to compete with Barack Obama's deep, idealistic pockets.
• Hold the line: A Vanity Fair story about a man claiming to be the illegitimate spawn of JFK has been put on hold—owing, some say, to a Ted Kennedy intervention. To the DNA lab!
• All in the family: Britney Spears frenemy Sam Lufti hires media consultant Michael Sands to tidy up his image. Wonder who'll be picking up Sands' bill in the end.
• Host with the most: Jon Stewart is dropping out of hosting a big event later this month, and no, it's not the Oscars. It's just a measly tribute to his boss, Sumner Redstone.
• Walk this way: Def Jam ship-jumper Jay-Z in talks to start his own label at rival Warner Music Group.
• Off the sauce: Rosie O'Donnell hops on the wagon, telling her fans that she has some drying out to do. What do you have to say for yourself, Elisabeth Hasselbeck?
• Justice served: Richie rich Warren Buffet on the dismal state of the financial sector as "poetic justice" for errant bankers: "The people that brewed this toxic Kool-Aid found themselves drinking a lot of it in the end."