Yesterday at CPAC, Mitt Romney ended his bid for the White House largely the same way he started it: well-coiffed and muttering some bullshit about how Ronald Reagan struck out Hitler to end World War II. But he shouldn't expect the same pity Nixon took on his dad—putting the allegedly-brainwashed "Manchurian" Romney, George, in charge of HUD—should John McCain win the White House. With this in mind, we've got a few ideas for how Governor Romney could best sell his own unique brand of crazy.