At 5 a.m. on Friday, the doors open for President Bush's speech, which defends his decision to invade Iraq and trashes the Democrats. The crowd chants, "W! W! W!" (This is according to MSNBC. No way am I waking up before sunrise for this torture.) Bush tells the audience, "My energy is up, my spirit is high, and I will finish strong," which is maybe what a few of the college Republicans in attendance told their bathroom lovers last night. (We kid! Mostly.)
The enormous photographs of aborted fetuses are no longer outside. In their place is a man with a scraggly beard who holds a protest sign. Just like the candidates inside CPAC, this man is running for high office, but with one difference: "I live on the streets of D.C. in order to facilitate my campaign." (Who cares about the first black or woman president when we can have our first drifter president?)
Inside the hotel, Wayne LaPierre, the CEO of the National Rifle Association, bashes the Supreme Court. Unfortunately for irony, the metal detectors from this morning have been taken away.