• Serious case of the Mondays: David Paterson is sworn in as New York's 55th governor. We're still confirming whether he's the first blind governor ever to be sworn in following his predecessor's $1,000-an-hour hooker habit, inheriting in the process a $5 billion budget gap and a freak crane accident that took out Upper East Side buildings and killed four. Developing ...
• Papa don't preach: This time, it's Guy Ritchie's dad fueling rumors that his marriage of seven years to Madonna is on the rocks. Everybody has their limits.
• Fairer sex: According to an exhaustive study conducted by the University of Toronto, men prefer women who have lighter skin. Oh, Canada.
• Hot mess: Project Runway champ Christian Siriano's canned catchphrases will finally get appropriated when he guests on Ugly Betty later this year—possibly opposite the fiercest tranny on TV, Rebecca Romijn—er, her Character.
• Canned: Carolyn Strauss, the woman at the helm of HBO during the The Sopranos—and John From Cincinnati and In Treatment—era has been fired.
• Hin-don't: Hindu organizations in the U.S. and India are protesting over Mike Myers' The Love Guru for its stereotypical portrayals of Hindu leaders. No word how much they were paid by the studio.