• Bros before Hills: In important election news, Hills dude and Kardashian clan member Brody Jenner has announced his support of Barack Obama. "I think people would take us more seriously with Iraq and everything ... I just think he's cool," said Brody.
• Stag-gering drunks: Princes William and Harry got crazy over the weekend at a stag party for their cousin, Peter Phillips. The celebration included a skin-tight white leotard, a child's toy doll, William dropping trou, and Harry doing beer bongs with the locals on the Isle of Wight while wearing a baseball cap from his Afghanistan days that read, "I do bad things to bad people."
• Misguided youth: Thomas Kohnstamm, a travel writer who worked on more than a dozen books for Lonely Planet, says that he made up portions of of his books, didn't even visit one of the countries he wrote about, and dealt drugs to supplement the meager income he received for his, uh, work.
WAIT, THERE'S MORE: The prick who wants to raise the tax on beer; cocaine lawsuits; and Cate Blanchett delivers!