• Air campaign: The British Royal Air Force is pissed at Prince William for using one of their $20 million helicopters to land in girlfriend Kate Middleton's backyard. This after he used the same pricey chopper to taxi himself and Harry to a stag weekend on the Isle of Wight.
• Campaign happy trail: Chelsea Clinton is all the rage among ass-grabbing Philadelphia gays and lesbians.
• Economic stimulus package: A study finds that male traders on Wall Street make more money on days when their testosterone levels are high. But researchers caution traders against taking testosterone supplements to make more money; they should stick to blow until more is known.
YES, THERE'S MORE: Fast cars, Europe stinks, and weed!