When we last checked in on the child pornography trial of singer R. Kelly, everyone was amusingly pissed—judge, lawyers, an excessively shunned media. As promised, and with opening arguments finally behind us, it's only getting better: To date we've had a Little Man Wayon's Brothers defense, a "Shaggy defense" (specious!), and a courtroom screener of what is said to be the kinkiest, most depraved kiddie porn this side of an Akon show after-party. But why get caught up in abusive underage sex and Hollywood references? There are also R&B hoochies, unethical cops, maybe-cancerous lesions, and more. Let's look back at what we learned this week in the trial of Robert Sylvester Kelly.