That Robocop-loving Spanish guy we told you about a couple months ago didn't win the big Eurovision Song Contest over the weekend. Instead, it was this Russian dude (above), probably because he's backed by Timbaland (seriously), but possibly also because the judges couldn't resist the random male figure skater who shows up at about the 1:55 mark and takes the act to that next level of overwrought crapulence. They are Europeans, after all. Yes, it's bad. But there were other contestants who were much worse. Let's check a few out.