Last night was the season two premiere of the hit show Army Wives. You probably didn't watch, but a bunch of Lifetime ladies in middle America sure as hell did, and you know who wants these ladies bad? Our presumptive presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain, of course. The candidates' created special individual messages to these Army Wives viewers, with Obama staying simple and sincere—"Honor the real army wives"—and Johnny boy pandering with a brave admission/overshare: "Army Wives has a lot of great twists and turns, I know because Cindy makes me watch with her and we're looking forward to season two." Assuming Mac isn't lying, we've penned an open letter to the famous Arizonan in hopes he'd discuss the night's events: