• No, thank you and good night: Fifty photos of TV reporters who look like they're getting off.
• No translation necessary: Blonde, determined, and free of STDs, Scarlett Johansson wants everyone to know she's batting for the Obama team.
• He's no ScarJo: Oklahoma Rep. Dan Boren, on the other hand, refuses to endorse Obama because he's "too liberal." Boren's father is a former Democratic senator who was a major pain in the ass during Bill Clinton's first term; he's supporting Obama. So maybe being a dick is something Boren men age out of.
• No matter: Obama's already been immortilized by a German dollmaker, what does he care what Boren thinks?
• 'Cuse me: Country-singing cupcake Carrie Underwood admits that she "burps a lot" and has been cheated been on a "time or two." Correlation made. But it's not success that's the best revenge. That would be "becoming famous."
• Irony fist: People are still talking about the Obama and wife fist bump. Video of Ali G and Pat Robertson knocking pinky rings resurfaces in tribute.
• On the Fritzl: Of all the names CNN could have given this 19-year-old victim, why did "incest dungeon girl" make the cut?
• Making a splash: A judge orders YouTube pranksters/filmmakers to air an apology on the video-sharing site. Which only leads to more views on their original misdemeanor, but hey.