• Schmucks with Underwoods: Katherine Heigl has withdrawn her name from Emmy contention, blaming Grey's Anatomy writers for not providing "the material this season to warrant" a nomination. We are so excited for next season, when Katherine's character is sure to develop a mysterious disorder which makes her speak in a Mexican accent and drool constantly.
•As go American corporations: So go their namesake buildings. Abu Dhabi's kickin' sovereign wealth fund just found a new play toy: the Chrysler Building.
•My Little Lingerie Set: As if horses in makeup weren't creepy enough, Hasbro announced plans to license its My Little Pony brand for adult sleepwear and underwear. Congratulations, all you wannabe Warren Jeffs out there: It's an early Christmas!
•One World, One Dream, One Child: More than 4,000 Chinese babies have been named "Olympic Games" in the past 15 years.
•Bollocks!: The worst tennis player in Britain sues top newspapers for pointing out that he is‚ er, the worst tennis player in Britain.