Republican presidential hopeful John McCain needs $2,300 from you within the week or his campaign is OVER. Seriously! Per the most recent direct mailing he's sending out seeking donations to his cash-starved campaign: "To stay competitive and ultimately win this election I must raise $10 million in the next 7 days," he writes. He's going to make it really easy for you, too. "That is why I hope you will use the enclosed pre-paid, pre-addressed Federal Express Envelope and rush an Emergency Contribution of $2,300, $1,500, $500, $250, or $100 to my campaign headquarters as soon as you possibly can." (Emphasis ours.) John McCain will not stand for regular old UPS! FedEx him your monies today!
The letter in its entirety (choice lines: "Barack Obama is unquestionably one of the most extremely liberal people sitting in the U.S. Senate today"; "And if the Democrats also retain control of Congress, the would control the entire federal government and would be unstoppable"), plus the enclosed Federal Express form follow: