Handsomely coiffed elderly gentleman: "Believe it or not, I love rap!" Somehow we do believe it, Karl Lagerfeld. You don't seem like much of a liar to us. That said, did Harper's Bazaar take crazy pills in celebration of the month of September? Buried beneath the issue's peculiar imaginings of Tyra Banks as Michelle Obama and the Ronson family as the Tenenbaums is a less noticed but equally puzzling figment: everyone's favorite powder-white fashion Kraut tricked out as a rapper. In Harper's words: "Lagerfeld became a rapper, complete with Phat Farm jeans and untied shoelaces." Now Harper's is really crossing the line here—they're jeopardizing the health of America's youth, who so readily take fashion cues from their magazine. Please, kids, we know you all want to be ballers. But listen to mom, and tie your damned shoes!