• Blogging head: Roseanne Barr takes to her blog to attack Angelina Jolie for being an undecided voter: "miss jolie says she likes mccain too and hasn't decided who to endorse....huh? Aren't you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the african daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the republican party's worldwide economic assault on africa over the last few decades since reagan? whaaaa...??????!!!!" Also, she calls a Jon Voight a "used tampon." Oh Roseanne, sometimes we fall in love with you all over again.
• Oh God Yes: The California Supreme Court has unanimously ruled that doctors cannot refuse to provide medical treatment to gays or lesbians because of religious beliefs. God, it just makes you feel great to think that this is something that a court needs to rule on.
• Halfsies: Cindy McCain has a secret half sister. She's a Democrat and she's pissed. First, dad gave all the cash to Cindy, and now that skinny bitch claims to be an only child.
CLICK HERE, IT'S EASY: Nose-pickers!; SAT drama!; Graydon Carter delivers; and retrosexuals!