None of The Hills girls are pregnant. Why? Because they are unrelenting prudes.
Let's review: This week, at People's Revolution in New York, Kelly Cutrone does her best Janice Dickinson impression. As male models shuffle around her in various forms of undress, she uses time honored lines like "you have a great body. What are you doing later? Of course, she's doing this for Whitney's sake. Sweet Whitney, who is so cowed, so frightened by the visage of an 8-pack peeking out some longjohns that she can't even objectify a model named "Alex" properly. (Note to Cutrone: If this indeed is multitasking in the "powerbitch world," we approve.)