Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick announced today that he did indeed lie under oath and he will resign, be disbarred—and got a plea deal so bad that he'll actually most likely do four months in jail, have to pay a million bucks, and also get five years of probation. On his way out of court, he stopped to tell the reporters that their stories were wrong, which marks him as America's most idiotic mayor, since the local papers were the ones who posted the sexy text messages between him and his lover, in which they plotted the firing of a police chief. Also, he has more court time coming up, because he allegedly assaulted two deputies trying to serve a subpoena on his sister.