Gossip Girl, a network television show popular with 20-something New York bloggers and not too many other people in America, was on last night. Again! And could it be any more obvious that the character destined to fall down the CW's metaphorical elevator shaft is none other than billionaire father of Chuck, Bart Bass?
These things have a formula, after all. And there are a few tell-tale signs that—as an adult—you're destined to die in a teen drama: