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ALL FANS ON DECK! Barenaked Ladies' promotional video for Ships & Dip V

If you asked me a few weeks ago if I'd ever consider going on a cruise, I would have said you were crazy. Cruises aren't meant for self-respecting adults. They're for morbidly obese families who regard Disney World as "too ethnic," or old people looking to pass the time while they wait for the sweet release of death. Even more absurd to me was the concept of the rock cruise. When the headliners are Sister Hazel and Toad the Wet Sprocket and the year isn't 1997, it's not exactly a floating Coachella. And those are the modern acts. If you want to watch Lynyrd Skynyrd limp through "Sweet Home Alabama," you can do it without entering international waters.

A rock cruise is like Las Vegas with all the exits cut offBut in the past few years, rock cruises have evolved from novelty fad to legitimate vacation option. Musicians who don't usually play at county fairs and Indian casinos—think Dave Matthews or Bela Fleck—are now sailing the high seas, and audiences who might normally spend their music budgets at festivals like Bonnaroo are showing up in record numbers. Apparently, rock cruises are hot. Or, at least, not uncool. This February, when John Mayer's Mayercraft Carrier set sail on its debut voyage, photos quickly circulated of the musician wandering the ship in his Borat Speedo. (Blender filed a particularly giggly report in April, going into perhaps too much detail about Mayer's "man-scaped junk.") It was obviously a signal to his audience that the cruise wasn't meant to be taken seriously.

Because I easily cave to peer pressure, I was determined to experience this oceanic bacchanal firsthand, to immerse myself in the horror of it all. But by the time my bags were packed, there were few options left. All the cabins were booked on the Mayercraft Carrier, as were the ones on every other cruise with a band I might actually listen to on dry land. The only tickets available were for Ships & Dip, the Barenaked Ladies' second-annual tour of the Caribbean. Without hesitating, I signed up.

If you've ever lived in Los Angeles, you've most likely experienced that moment when you're out with your friends and somebody says, "Hey, we should drive to Las Vegas!" So you all pile into the car thinking you're being spontaneous and wild, until you get about midway through the desert and return to your senses. Las Vegas is never as good as you think it's going to be. Wayne Newton, in actuality, isn't so hilariously kitschy. He's just kind of creepy.

A rock cruise is like Las Vegas with all the exits cut off.