(continued)

BEHIND THE VEIL Arnett (Photo: Robert Trachtenberg)

Do you even know what that means?
No! But it's my goal to make it sound like poetry. I also used to do ads for this foot medication called Lamisil where the little animated guy lifted up the toenail. That always freaked me out. It's great. I like being a part of one of the grossest commercials in history.

Is that something you dreamed of during your youth in Canada?
What? How could you tell I was Canadian?

My Canada-dar is just ...
Now, that is just offensive. That is a hate crime.

I went to a hockey game last night, and this guy sitting behind me says, 'Would it be weird if I did the Gob chicken dance to you?'No, our crack team of researchers rooted that out. You're from Toronto, correct?
Yes. The mean streets of T Zero. T.O. Most people call it T.O. in Canada. I call it T Zero. T minus zero. T nil. T goose egg. Yeah. I grew up in the city.

Does that mean you're a rabid Toronto Maple Leafs fan?
That is true. When it comes to athletics, there's nobody like the Leafs.

You know, Dane Cook did a Red Sox promo for the World Series. Have you ever thought about doing anything like that for the Maple Leafs? Ripping off Dane Cook?
No. Besides, they were for TBS, right? They weren't for the Red Sox. Looks like the Gaydar research team wasn't so crack after all.

Ouch.
Honestly, if you guys just changed your name to Gaydar, you would sell so many magazines the first month. Just as a novelty.

I'll suggest it at the next staff meeting.
Sorry, I like stupid, awful grandpa jokes that have no payoff.

No, go with it. Just a few more repetitions, and there'll be a big payoff.
Yeah, I'm really running that one into the ground.

I understand that your dad was CEO of Molson for a while. Was that when you were growing up?
Well, I mean, that depends on what you define as growing up. I'm still growing up. That was in my twenties, so I wasn't able to maximize on the free booze when I was in high school. Thank God. That would have been a disaster for me and anybody near me.

You're probably best known for playing Gob, Jason Bateman's magician brother on Arrested Development. Do people ever mistake you for your character?
I've had a few people jump in front of me with a deck of cards. We were at a restaurant in Boston and a guy starts doing a coin trick. I loved playing Gob and doing Arrested Development. I couldn't have liked it any more. But when people call you by the name of your character in the street? It's bizarre. You sort of turn around like, "Hey, how are ya!" I went to a hockey game last night, and this guy sitting behind me says, "Would it be weird if I did the Gob chicken dance to you?" And I didn't really get it. What do you mean, "to me"? And I finally said, "Look, knock yourself out. I'm all for whatever you want to do."