Help Wanting
(continued)
(Photo: Zsolt Nyulaszi)
51. "Do you think we'll eventually become best friends?"
52. "Got $3? I'll hit you back when you hire me."
53. "I'll take off this cap when the Cubbies win the Series, and not a day sooner."
54. "What has two thumbs and totally loves
commodities trading? This guy!"
55. "I've been trying to keep a low profile, as I've recently been targeted by the Mossad."
56. "Just out of curiosity, how long do you cache visited websites?"
57. "When I said a retard could do this job, of course I meant a highly functioning retard."
58. "So ... what sort of company is Apple?"
59. "My qualifications? Isn't that one of those
prejudiced questions you're not allowed to ask?"
60. "If the preparation instructions for Hot Pockets count as a book, then, yes, I have a favorite book."
61. "It's 4:00? Shit! Where's the closest airport?"
62. "To be honest, as soon as I earn enough money for my calf implants, I'm gone."
63. "Can I keep this pen? How about this lamp?"
64. "My ideal supervisor would be a surrogate for the mommy who never had time for me."
65. "Got a bottle opener in that big ol' fancy drawer?"
66. "Why is your typewriter connected to your TV set?"
67. "I got diddled by my uncle, but now I'm over it."
68. "Under 'education,' can I just put 'the streets'?"
69. "I think you'll find I'm a real team player—as long as no one touches my hair."
70. "No, I'm not pregnant. It's a benign 16-pound tumor. How's your insurance?"
71. "If I could be any historical figure? Skeletor."
72. "It's not that I'm unwilling to travel, it's just this whole crossing state lines thing."
73. "You'd be hiring an extremely skilled knife fighter."
74. "Does your business casual policy include Zubaz?"
75. "Shall we conduct this interview on my lap?"
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