Meet the Candidates
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John McCain
Exhibited "poor judgment," according to the Senate Ethics Committee, as a key player in the "Keating Five" Savings & Loan scandal, which cost taxpayers $2 billion. Also showed poor judgment by dating a stripper named "The Flame Thrower." |
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Barack Obama
Wrote part of career-making 2004 Democratic convention speech in the john. Former chain smoker. Didn't get around to paying $375 in decades-old parking tickets until this year. May or may not have attended a terrorist madrasah. |
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Mitt Romney
Claims to "love emergencies and catastrophes." While running for Senate, bragged about creating 10,000 jobs—while laying off workers at a factory he owned. Arrested twice; once for disorderly conduct. |
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John Edwards
Sold his $3.5 million house to a lobbyist for Saudi Arabia while investigating the country's role in 9/11 on the Senate Intelligence Committee. Exposed, he reneged on the deal but kept the $100,000 deposit. |
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Rudolph Giuliani
Insisted on locating New York City's emergency response center at one of the world's most obvious targets. Resigned from the Iraq Study Group after missing meetings to make paid speeches. |
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Hillary Clinton
Chaired secretive health-care task force that cost Democrats control of Congress. "Lucky" $1,000 investment in cattle futures netted her nearly $100,000. |
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Fred Thompson
Post-Senate, was paid $750,000 to help a British company avoid compensating asbestos victims. Lobbied U.S. government to support Haitian despot Jean-Bertrand Aristide after he was ousted. Was awesome in Days of Thunder. |
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As a brand, Barack Obama is a lot like Apple: an upstart
superstar that's still vulnerable to attack
How an American coed was framed for murder
Now back at West Beverly and teaching drama—what else?
—the new 90210's Shannen Doherty opens up to
Radar about her phobias (germs, sharks, tabloid
reporters), her obsessions (Manolos, Choos, Louboutins),
and the
secret to her success (a higher power... and it's not
Aaron Spelling).
In an exclusive interview with Radar, pop maven
John McCain sounds off on Jon Stewart, media turncoats,
and other stuff
America's notorious rabble-rouser has launched an
all-out attack on religion. Unfortunately, not everyone
is in on the joke.

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