Radar 100
Wrong Exit
The 100 Worst Places to Die
PAGE 1 / 4
46. Easing into a hot tub with John Stossel
1. Your parents' garage, whipping up your first batch of meth |
   |
PAGE 2 / 4
97. The Scientology Center, clutching an E-Meter
| 26. Ikea cafeteria, face down in a bowl of Swedish meatballs 27. AlI-night car wash, Cincinnati 28. Tanning bed #3 29. Reclining in a purple box, after volunteering to be the magician's assistant 30. The cougar pen at the Bronx Zoo, gingerly retrieving your Swatch 31. At your boss's daughter's bat mitzvah, breakdancing in the hora circle 32. The handicapped stall at work, trying out that "autoerotic asphyxiation" thing you read about on Wikipedia 33. At the hands of a surprisingly strong Pauly Shore 34. Bound on an altar, after stumbling upon that backwoods religious ceremony 35. The alley behind Z102, dumpster- diving for Morning Zoo "Krazy Kash" 36. Stomping grapes with a barefoot Joy Behar during Celebrity Wine Weekend 37. Elbows on the rail of a riverboat casino, pondering your future 38. Instant before the flash explodes on that whimsical old-timey photo 39. Sandals Resort, Montego Bay, strapped to a parasail 40. Your old middle school, leading a court-ordered lecture on bad lifestyle choices 41. A vibrating massage chair at the Sharper Image 42. A darkened den, watching Message in a Bottle with your in-laws 43-51. Easing yourself into a hot tub with ... (43) Neil Cavuto, (44) Harriet Miers, (45) Randy Jackson, (46) John Stossel, (47) Emeril Lagasse, (48) Meat Loaf, (49) Dakota Fanning, (50) Paula Poundstone, (51) Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf |
   |
PAGE 3 / 4
68. In the mud pit at the Renaissance Faire
| 52. Riding the Tilt-A-Whirl as "Funky Cold Medina" blasts over the loudspeakers 53. West Baltimore, in the middle of your self-guided The Wire tour 54. In a puddle of urine, not your own 55. Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp, learning the art of the stage dive 56. Tooling down the highway, one eye on the road, the other on the latest David Denby review 57. In a shiv battle over the April 2002 issue of FHM during your stay at a minimum-security prison 58.In a utility closet at the Met, halfway into a stolen suit of armor 59. In the media room at the local library, just having googled "fan fiction + Seacrest" 60. Tangled in your Soloflex 61. On the red-eye, somewhere over Kansas, an open copy of Hemispheres on your lap 62. Outback Steakhouse, holding the "I Can't Believe I Just Ate 25 Racks of Ribs, Mate!" trophy 63. In a Port-O-John 64. The couch at your former fraternity, home-coming weekend 65. The Mall of America's Piercing Pagoda 66. Just outside a Mexican farmacia, a bag of "la Viagra" in your hand 67. In between speed dates 68. In the mud pit at the Renaissance Faire 69. Onstage at an acting workshop, having just grabbed the improv baton 70. The Container Store 71. In a sweaty post-concert huddle with the Spin Doctors 72. Williamsburg, Virginia: Head in the stocks, tri-corner hat 73. Front row at Tony Robbins's "Unleash the Power Within" seminar 74-78. In line for ... (74) funnel cake, (75) Stomp (76) Donald Trump's autograph, (77) your American Idol audition, (78) a free mouse pad |
  |
PAGE 4 / 4
85. Your fat camp reunion
| 79. Business class on Amtrak, midway between New York City and Wilmington, Delaware 80. Sunrise at Burning Man, after waking up in a sleeping bag with Trey Anastasio 81. Top deck, on the Seinfeld double-decker bus tour 82. In a hacky sack circle 83. Seated on a stool, sipping a wine cooler, as Dateline's Chris Hansen emerges from behind a screen 84. The temporary basement jail in Yankee stadium 85. Your fat camp reunion 86. Santa Monica Boulevard, flashing a wacky gang sign to a highway patrol officer 87. Under a plastic tarp at the "Gallagher 2007 Sledge-O-Matic Comedy Tour" 88. Your one-bedroom time-share in Tampa 89. Green room, Deal or No Deal 90. Inside a Winnebago, Wal-Mart parking lot, Frederick, Maryland 91. Museum of Sex gift shop 92. Next to a giant boulder just after amputating your left arm, much closer to civilization than you thought 93. At a civil war reenactment, leading the charge 94. In the mosh pit during Linkin Park's performance at the People's Choice Awards 95. A La Quinta Inn, judging a high school debate 96. In your attic, crushed under the weight of your vintage erotica collection 97. The Scientology Center, clutching an E-Meter 98. Mid snow angel 99. The International Space Station, just after your $20 million check clears 100. On the toilet, reading this list |
   |
Related: Radar 100
Posted by: hunkaburninlove on September 25, 2007 8:30 PM
I disagree with number 9. You wouldn't want to die on a good friend's new sailboat, but some asshole's new sailboat is a great place to die. Think about it - that ruins his sailboat forever. It becomes "The Boat That Guy Died On". Hey, if ya gotta go, ya might as well knock some asshole down a few notches while you're at it...