As this month's cover girl Lindsay Lohan checks in and out, check out Radar's Guide to Rehab

CLEAN GIRL Linds gives an encore at Promises

Not so long ago, boozy, misbehaving stars were quietly hospitalized for exotic maladies like "exhaustion" and "dehydration." These days, they publicize their rehab stays. (Or, in Britney Spears's case, blog about them.) Whether it's Lindsay Lohan partied out and checking into Promises Malibu, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom "getting help" for banging his campaign manager's wife, or Mel Gibson seeking a clinical cure for his anti-Semitism, institutionalization has become a go-to panacea for a growing catalog of indiscretions. As a service to our strung-out readers, we asked a gaggle of gabby former patients for the inside dope.

GOOD PILL HUNTING Matthew Perry and Ben Affleck are two of Promises' most illustrious alums

Food: 23
Decor: 24
Service: 21
Cost: $$$$
(Scale: 1-30; $-$$$$)

"Nothing beats pulling up to an AA meeting in a luxury SUV," and guests of Promises Malibu—a list that's included Ben Affleck, Matthew Perry, and Britney—do just that (avoiding the "druggy buggies" of less costly facilities); the 22-bed villa-style facility offers "equine-assisted therapy" and "group meetings galore"; "movie and popcorn" nights and the opportunity on weekends for "a hasty sexual encounter with a sober outsider" in one of the house bathrooms are client favorites; the menu includes high-end fare like "inch-thick steaks"—but you might be eating them with your fingers, since "new kids have to be vetted to use knives."