From Kelly Taylor to Meredith Grey, the long-suffering ladies of prime-time TV

In the history of television, there are victims and then there is Kelly Taylor. As played by Jennie Garth for all 10 seasons of the original Beverly Hills, 90210, the kindhearted, once-slutty Kelly was the Job of prime-time soap operas. Consider the traumas she weathered: Born to a cokehead mom and an absentee dad, Kelly, in no particular order, lost her virginity via date rape, ODed on diet pills, was badly burned in a house fire, joined a cult, dated a cokehead, became an addict, was single-white-femaled, miscarried, got shot by carjackers, developed amnesia, was sexually harassed by a member of the medical profession, was attacked and raped in an alley, eventually killed her rapist in revenge, and lived through dozens of other comparatively piddling traumas.

Kelly is the ultimate TV victim not only because she was afflicted by an absurd number of harrowing events—a decent amount of bad juju befell high-school cronies Donna and Brenda as well (cheating boyfriend, abusive boyfriend, school shooting for D.; cancer scare, pregnancy scare, mugging, unfaithful boyfriend, unfaithful best friend, quickie marriage, ideological fling with animal rights activists for B.)—but also because of the spirit with which she weathered these traumas: meekly.

Attitude matters in victimhood: True victims don't have any. Melrose Place's Allison Parker was a victim. Amanda Woodward was not. Buffy, who died twice, turned the vampire she loved evil by banging him, then had to kill him, and had her mom die of cancer, plus myriad other totally shattering events, was still not a victim. The O.C.'s Marissa Cooper obviously was. Veronica Mars, even with a drunk, disappeared mom, slaughtered best friend, tattered social life, and rape, was not. In the most up-to-date terms, Serena van der Woodsen is a victim; Blair Waldorf, who's had just as many crappy things happen to her, is not.

As another television season comes to an end, Radar has scanned the airwaves for the most put-upon women on prime time in order to honor them with the Kelly Taylor Memorial Victim Award. Next year, upon her return to small screen in the CW's remake of 90210, Kelly herself may be joining this batch of oft-abused sad sacks.

Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy
The pinnacle of the Grey's star's victimhood really came last year, when the thinnest "doctor" in North America was pushed into the ocean and elected not to swim, in a genuine, if slightly halfhearted, suicide attempt. What we learned this season is why: Her super-surgeon mom slit her wrists in front of a five-year-old Meredith, who had to sit in a pool of her mother's blood until Mama passed out and lil' Mere could call 911. All in all, a pretty credible reason to try to drown oneself.

Other terrible things that have happened to mopey Meredith include an alcoholic father who abandoned her; an unkind, distant mother who developed Alzheimer's and died; a loving stepmother who, via a strange string of freak accidents, bit it while under Meredith's care; and a soul-mate with a preexisting wife.

Kellyness: 8

Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill
The heroine of the inexplicably long-lasting CW drama had it rough before the show even started. The actress who plays her, Hilarie Burton, makes Mischa Barton look talented: Her prior experience was as an MTV veejay—and it shows. Even worse, Peyton's supposed to be an ultracool, dark music aficionado, which in the world of the CW means she's championed such mediocre acts as Gavin DeGraw and Fall Out Boy. She even banged a member of that band in one episode, which should be enough to land her on this list in and of itself.

Sadly for Peyton, she's lived through much worse. Her mom died while she was a young girl, and during the series, her often-absent, hardworking father kicked it. Because that's not enough dead parents for one girl to have, Peyton soon discovered she had been adopted, only to have her birth mother die of cancer. Girl has struggled with a drug problem, helped her boyfriend steal his baby from a psycho baby mama, got shot in the leg during a school massacre, had to share scenes with Kevin Federline, and, on prom night, was drugged and tortured by a psycho stalker pretending to be her half-brother.

Kellyness: 9

Serena van der Woodsen, Gossip Girl
It's a strange truth about Gossip Girl that, for an absurdly campy show about naughty high school kids, relatively speaking, nothing that over-the-top has happened. That might be why it's good—it has stayed vaguely believable—but it also means that Serena belongs on this list in spirit more than deed. In other words, this couture-clad blonde sure thinks she's had it rough, but a tussle with an identity-faking bitchface is a before-breakfast problem for the other ladies on this list.

Surely, in seasons to come, as the catastrophes accrue, Serena will fit in better with these beat-up broads. She does have a solid start: a drug and alcohol problem, a suicidal brother, an absentee father (obviously the source for future angst-ridden story lines), a best friend and stepbrother with the ability to turn backstabby at the drop of a wide-brimmed hat, a small part in the death of a cokehead, and one very creative frenemy named Georgina Sparks.

Kellyness: 3

Abby Lockhart, ER
So, seriously, ER is still on the air, and this lady, played by Maura Tierney, is the star. When some helicopter isn't exploding in the lobby in a "Very Special ER Event," chances are pretty good that Abby's being tortured one way or another. Raised by a bipolar mom, Abby's an alcoholic who has fallen off the wagon from time to time. Recently, she got blackout drunk and cheated on her husband, who at the end of this season decided he had to leave her. On her first date with that same fellow, he killed a mugger by smashing his face into the sidewalk. Later, one of his unhinged and pissed-off patients broke into their home.

Also, her brother's bipolar, her son was born a preemie, and she had to have an emergency hysterectomy following his birth; she'd been laying on the floor bleeding for hours while the entire ER was busy being held hostage.

Kellyness: 7

Kate Austen, Lost
Some might argue that Lost's leading lady is too badass and feisty to be on this list, to which we say: She may know how to handle a gun, but she still sulks an awful lot. Obviously, she has her reasons. Raised by an abusive man she believed to be her stepfather, she discovered, upon blowing up both him and a house, that he was, in fact, her biological pop. Her mother couldn't really forgive her for this and kept trying to get Kate arrested. When Kate, on the run, went to visit her dying mama, she got her childhood friend killed.

Kate took to robbing banks, shot a guy in the leg, and was finally caught by the authorities—only to end up in a plane crash that deposited her on a freaky-deaky island. Once there, she was held ransom for some guns, kept in a bamboo cage, and lots of other crazy shit, before escaping the island and going on trial for murder. At least she was acquitted.

Kellyness: 5