(continued)

Call to Wolfgang Puck's restaurant Spago, on behalf of Larry King's (fictional) son, Timmy:

RADAR: This is John Taylor. I'm the assistant to Larry King. I'm calling regarding Mr. King's son, Timmy. We'd like to schedule a birthday party for him sometime in May.
How many people?

It should be seven or eight kids, I'd be chaperoning, and then we're hoping to add a children's clown, a magician, and a mime who could sit at the table with them.
Hold on, let me see what I have available. ... [On hold.] ... It looks like we're pretty open. You wanted a private room, yes?

No, the problem is Timmy is a bit claustrophobic and can't really eat in enclosed spaces, so we're hoping to do it in the regular dining room.
Oh, in the regular dining room. Once you have a date, call back and we can certainly do something. That's not going to be a problem.

So, in the regular dining room, would you be able to permit a clown, a magician, and a mime? They wouldn't be running around or anything, they'd just be at the table.
Oh. So they'd be seated with the kids?

They'd be seated with the kids, and they'd be doing their shtick at the table. They wouldn't be loud or anything.
Let me ask. Hold on a second. ... [On hold.] ... What we'd probably have to do is seat them in the gallery, which is the area next to the patio.

What's it like there?
It's an area we usually seat for lunch, so you'd be the only group there.

Is there no way to be in the regular dining room?
I think with a clown and a magician it'd be awkward for other diners.

No, the clown's not dressed in a clown outfit. He's dressed regularly. He's more like a comedian, an insult comic, who teases the kids as they eat. He's dressed in all black, he looks like a regular guy.
I think probably the gallery would still be best. Because then if the kids did want to get up and jump around ...

They're pretty well-behaved kids. They're Hollywood kids, they know how to act in a restaurant. Mr. King has specified he would prefer that they be in the main room, and he might come down to join them later on. Like I said, the clown's going to be looking like a regular guy. The magician—I can talk to him—but I think he'll be able to look presentable as well.
Um ...

Is it the clown or the magician that you're more concerned about? Because the clown really shouldn't be an issue.
Um ... hold on one second.

Sure.
[On hold.] ... I think we'll be able to make it work. I think it shouldn't be a problem. Once you have a date, call back and we'll make a reservation for you in the dining room. We still have to be conscientious of other guests.

Like I said, the insult comic will look regular, I think the magician—he'll probably wear his cape or something—and the mime would look like a mime, but it could look kind of hip, too. It really wouldn't look too out of place.
And they'll all be seated?

They'll all be seated.
Okay, I'm going to check with our general manager. I'll talk with her this afternoon and give you a call back.

That'd be great, because I can't commit to a date until I know you guys can handle it. The thing is, Mr. King doesn't want his son to feel like he's being shunted to the side. So it's really a deal-breaker if we can't be seated in the main room.
Okay. Well, I'll talk to the general manager and find out for you.

Thanks very much.

Outcome: The reservationist called back a week later having consulted with "Wolfgang himself," and they had decided that, unfortunately, having a clown, magician, and a mime in the dining room might be problematic for the other diners, but they would be happy to set up a private room.

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